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Life sucks! I need to code and write more...


blah blah blah.
blah blah blah
I don't even know Java :(
I think I'm gonna try to make this place a writing dump place. Cuz why not.
Not sure why I like writing like this. Probably the novelty and the lack of auto-correct...

I need to reach out to those guys at marxists.org, tell em' I can probably help out now that I'm a bit better with html...
Maybe a summer project. I've got a lot on my plate! I told myself I'd join the ham radio club! And I don't even have the starting license! Can barely read their website cuz the lingo is so unknown to me.

Maybe someday marxists.org...Someday...

 

 

Guhhhh...Whatever....


Can't believe my boss made me a hot chocolate bomb. I thought she hated me.

 

 

I have to write more! 1


In this small moment, little is known to me. Except that my nose is dripping snot in front of my roommate. But my roommate is on her laptop and probably hasn't noticed. Probably won't notice and probably won't ever notice. Little is known to me but the fact that I'm pretty sure I'm in the clear. What will she think of me when I leave on Saturday? If I forget to clean the mess I left by the coffee maker, I will press my forehead against the plane window and sigh, and the simple fact that I had to do something but didn't will be the only thing pulling me down to Iowa.
Can this please end with the same weight that my home used to give me? Can I please just reach into my pocket, and in that pocket can there be chapstick? Can my lips stop cracking? I write more about my knuckles now that they've gotten cuts and tightened. I used to sit at work and stare at my hand. Every day it looked more like a glove. And I still don't know how to tell people, "Look. I'm not who I am anymore, and this place isn't what I thought it was. And it isn't that Iowa isn't real. It's just not a place that acts like it expected me. But I'd be selfish to be mad about that."
In this small moment, I wipe my nose with my sleeve. My fist doesn't clench the way it used to. I know that when my dad picks me up at the airport, we'll realize together that I forgot something. By then we'll both be staring down the highway, and in that moment I might say something like, "Look. At least it's not so dry and cold here."

 

 

The story so far...1


There's a girl in a big old elephant body with radio antenna and rubber wiring and very sinewy legs. And she comes from an apocolyptic Earth, whose survivors put her on a ship with others to find a new home on a distant planet. But now everyone is dead and she's gotten stuck in the ship. She's become this old thing bleached by the sun with a broken navigation. Then in the distance she sees a strange shape that's the shadow something's left in the light of a sun, and lost in space, she decides to investigate. But along the way she gets infected by a weirdo and gets captured by a bunch of weirdos who turn her into their walking base of operations. And even after that she keeps running into aliens that turn out to be human. A group of wizards who's eyeballs blend further into their brain the older they get. A planet that is also a ball that get's thrown between two humans. And very strange places. And very strange people. And all of them human but how is that possible? And she keeps wandering if there are any more humans like the humans before, or if aliens exist...
....Like I want to write a story about confusion and disconnection without it feeling too confusing and disconnected...
And I'm bad at writing plot. I'm bad at creating urgency and connecting multiple wants and obstacles...
maybe she's getting chased by something. Maybe by the wizards, who believe she stole something from them? Or murdered someone?...Maybe the strange shape she's heading to is...guhhhhh
Maybe the parasite wants something and her captors want something and the beach ball men want something....And everything that they're looking for is in that weird looking shadowy shape, right over there.

 

 

Beepbox 1


The alien that just burst from my chest is wearing a tophat and a monacle...

 

 

Beepbox 2


All afternoon I've been drawing your face in the sand.

 

 

Beepbox 3


Ugly Bird Choir and me

 

 

Beepbox 4


Oh shit! A robot! The Ugly Bird Choir is going ham!

 

 

Beepbox 5


This is called, "The smoke detector in my room is running out of batteries, and it wants me to know about it."



I don't want to think about finals!!! I'm gonna play around in beepbox.co until I don't have to think about finals anymoooooore!!!!!!

 

 

Beepbox 6 (I swear to god I'm going to start writing soon)


This one is titled, "Final exams are finally over! Bring out the margarita bowl!"

 

 

The story so far...2


Okay. So...I gotta set that tree on fire...
Bay-sic-lee, there are these two people. Wizard and apprentice. Engineer and apprentice. Either or. They maintain...a ship, I think. Some huge mechanism with vacuum tubes and switchboards. They're looking for...They're working for...But the wizard is shunned by the her bosses, who view her as an embarassment to their cause. Cuz she sort of squacks, and she's more of a hands-on, technical kind of person. The apprentice is resentful of the way this wizard is treated. He also is resentful of what they're doing. He wishes that they could be doing something else. Something that serves them, and not just their bosses. We view all of this in an activity that both sets up our characters, their purpose, and their world. This scene also imbibes us with the sense that something has gone wrong and that something is soon about to change. The wizard council have a lot of influence in the world, and they're up to something...I think that this involves a procession of empires and high lords gathering up their forces and moving onto an enormous space ship, and while the wizard and her apprentice are working on this ship, they see the procession from afar as a parade of lights through the smog that slowly disasppears into the bloated belly of this blocky, charcoal-colored ship. You know the red blinking lights and rotating yellow lights that you see around airports? They're there too. Perhaps this ship is the mechanism, and the wizard and her apprentice are...repairmen? HVAC guys?

 

 

1/1/24


I'm trying to move past my golden years. Those years when I was a big fat liar. But it's hard, and I can't always do it. You wouldn't think it, but it's hard to be honest without changing how I tie knots and put on my coats. What happened to me? Was there any moment in particuluar? "I then preceded to sob my brains out and my heart dropped to my crotch." I'm thinking maybe it was when I ate that stupid present you got me the day before I forgot to knit you that scarf you always wanted. I'm sorry. I'm looking I'm looking I'm looking. Maybe it was when the beer was warm and I forgot about the boxed wine and we started laughing because the ice-maker made strangling noises. You lost it when I mentioned the trio of sommeliers who moved like bodybuilders and had terrible Austrailian accents. I lost it when you said the TSA would confiscate my knitting needles. "Why can't I bring knitting needles on an airplane?" Of all the questions I asked, you didn't hear that one. I'm hoping maybe the needles will just slip through the x-rays. Or I could cover their points with wax from the scented candle and blunt them out of the safety hazard list. You never cared for that scented candle. You said, "I think a cupcake threw up in a bowl of hand sanitizer," so everytime something's birthday-cake-scented I think about you. I think about you, and a Magical Thing happens where my lonliness changes into something more involved, more Deep-In-The-Woods-Where-Our-Bikes-Can't-Go and more Look-Dude-Look-There's-A-Deer. Oh well. This message doesn't work if it isn't confused and actually heard. Imagine me on a strip of white sand with a bucket full of oyster shells. Imagine me sitting by my bed with a bloated belly and everytime I get up to do anything I say, "I'm going to throw up now. I'm going to go home one day. I'm going to look you right in your face. Hey dude! Hey!" If only you loved me.

 

 

Beepbox 7


This one is called, "Make sure our raft has cupholders!"

 

 

1/2/24


Some of the stuff you have to tell yourself doesn't make for good writing.
For me, the best advice is "Life is one long learning lesson, but you're allowed to scream, 'I've learned nothing!' right before you collapse."

 

 

Link to new page


I haven't coded much since last semester, but I decided to get back into it over the spring break.

Here's a link to this site I made to practice grid boxes and animation and junk.

I started this site to make myself write more. The irony is that I've been writing more, but mostly on paper.

One of my summer plans is to start learning Java. But I have a lota summer plans soooo...we'll see.